By Ashley Aron
While the purpose of every concert is the music, it’s important to remember they’re also social gatherings for people to come and connect over the bands performing. That can lead to the creation of a whole new circle of friends after being crammed in a venue for a few hours. One of the best parts of going to a show is leaving with a bunch of new contacts in your phone, but the worst part can also be due to some bad apples in the crowd.
ONE: The Angry Mosher Bro
If you’re in a crowd that’s about to get good ol’ rock and roll rowdy, a la Ceremony or August Burns Red, there is no one you should be more keen on avoiding than the feisty Mosher Bro. Likely equipped with mesh shorts and a snapback, watch out for his fists of fury; he’ll stop at nothing to prove he’s the most brutal dude in the pit. Unless you want a broken nose, keep your distance.
TWO: The Excessive-PDA Couple
Love is awesome, but if you’re thinking about standing in the center of the crowd making out, please don’t. I want to see a band perform, not two pre-teens swapping spit. I have nothing against couples going to shows, but there are a select horny few who just can’t keep their hands to themselves. Keep your pants on, goddammit.
THREE: The Princess
The Princess is usually one half of an Excessive-PDA Couple or is at least surrounded by plenty of male spectators. She’ll complain about EVERYTHING: the noise, the sweaty climate, the people pushing and shoving, etc. She might as well stamp a “fragile” sticker on her forehead. She’ll try to prove she’s tough by hanging with a bunch of dudes at a hardcore show, but all she really wants is attention.
ONE: Line Neighbors
At a big show when you’re waiting in line outside the venue, you’re next to a ton of likeminded fans. Two years ago, I made friends with the kid next to me in line at Irving Plaza who was freezing his ass off. I lent him an extra hoodie and, to this day, we still talk and see each other at shows from time to time. You’ve got nothing better to do while you wait for the doors to open, so why not make a friend?
TWO: The BFB [Big Friendly Bro]
Think of this guy as the distant cousin of the Mosher Bro, one without the superiority complex or the appetite for violence in the pit. This dude will be the first one to extend a hand to a kid who has fallen down, shove a runaway mosher out of harm’s way, and, if you’re short like me, he will be the perfect candidate to help you get up to crowd surf. While similar in appearance to the Mosher Bro, his attitude is way more laid back and friendly, easily approachable for high fives after the show.
THREE: The Random Associate
This is the person who you know from school, work, or just around town, but never knew they were interested in the music scene until you saw him or her at a show. Now that you’ve bonded over a deep conversation about the opening act or the headliner’s super cheap merch, you’ve turned this loose acquaintance into a new concert-going buddy. Consider this person a hidden gem!