By Jessica Bailey
Columnist

It’s fucking Friday and I want to bitch about Myspace. Specifically, I want to bitch about why no one is using Myspace anymore, and why we absolutely should be. Or at least, we should be if we love music more than all our annoying and purposefully nosey Facebook friends do.
 I know that it’s not exactly a hot topic anymore, and hasn’t been since the days when you shopped at Hot Topic either, but maybe it’s time we all made a migration back the social networking site that inspired them all. 

It’s got a slick new re-design … err … OK, it’s still kind of clunky and hard to manage, but hipsters are into retro

MySpace

MySpace allows users to “friend” and “follow” celebrities. Sound familiar?

things that aren’t pragmatic, right? And you can “friend” famous people like Lady Gaga and Adele to see what they’re up to! So it’s basically trying to be a combination of Facebook and Twitter all in one newsfeed. You can also customize your page into “cool” themes, in case you really wanted to turn your page into a giant advertisement for Snoop Dogg’s new show on E! It’s all very exciting stuff, you know. Very cutting edge and user-friendly … well, it’s actually kind of ugly and not that functional, but so is your grandma and you still keep her around! That’s what MySpace is — it’s the grandma of the Internet that’s trying way too hard to stay cool and in-touch with young people.

So really, the best way to convince you to join Myspace again in all its fallen glory is to convince you that Facebook sucks. But you probably already knew that because you say it to yourself every day when you’ve checked it for the fifth time only to see the same annoying people clogging up your newsfeed with their mundane lives and half-assed attempts at personal reinvention. “I’ve learned that u have to luv yourself b4 u can learn to luv anyone else,” their inane vaguebooking reads. Ugh. At least people couldn’t pretend to take themselves so seriously on Myspace when their pages were accented with glittery purple backgrounds.

We should also all be much more concerned about the fact that Facebook stores all of your information FOREVER. They can use your photos anytime. Anything you upload to Facebook belongs to them and also to anyone else you happen to add as a friend. People didn’t upload as much personal information on Myspace so in that sense we were a bit safer, if not a bit more superficial.

But the one thing that’s great about Myspace is music. Myspace really is the only social network on which you can listen to music on easily and share it with your friends. It’s also trying to re-establish itself (with shallow content so far) as a source of music and entertainment news. It’s also still attracting bands that sign up to get people listening to their music directly. The music player isn’t too shabby and there’s a decent selection of artists to choose from that you can stream for free. Because no one is using it right now, it’s kind of like taking a stroll around an empty park with your music on full blast. It’s a surprisingly refreshing experience.

Despite all of its apparent flaws, Myspace wins at providing music, and that is significantly more useful than cover photos and pokes. So why not hearken back to the good ol’ days of Top 8 and mood status updates for a while? If only to get away from the ominous Big Brother network that Facebook has become.

Check out Kat’s column every Fucking Friday